Where's Robert Shaw when you need him?~or~
I really do love Wes Anderson, but I have to rant here
~or~
when
good comedies go
bad...
~or~
Is it just me, or is the last truly important American film made in the past five years I heart Huckabees? Because it sure as shit isn't The Life Aquatic...
Make no mistake about it: this film was supposed to be "important". Just listen to the way most of the people involved in it talk about it. The trailer for
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (04) is amazing. It's one of the best trailers I have ever seen, simply because it managed to include every single worthwhile aspect of the film without an ounce to spare. In other words, if you've seen the trailer for the movie - then you've seen every positive thing there is to possibly see about it. If they gave out Oscars for "Best Trailer" - this film should have won based on that aspect alone. I have been reading alot of critics pussy-footing around it, but let's be honest - hasn't Wes Anderson gotten a little too big for his own britches? And what happened to Bill Murray? A one-time personal hero of mine - how did he ever get his head (or nose) stuck so far in the clouds? I mean, who does he think he is? Laurence Olivier? Fuck, even Olivier did films like: Clash of the Titans and The Boys from Brazil (for which he was Oscar nominated, thank-you very much). But ever since this whole Lost in Translation thing (don't get me started on that) Murray has had this holier-than-thou attitude about the craft. It pains me to say this: "Bill, we love you - but don't push it". Don't become like Ed Harris,
please (i.e. a fucking psychopath about your own worth as an artist). Seriously: there's nothing I can recommend about The Life Aquatic. Nothing. In fact, if you really do love and or respect Murray/Anderson - don't see it. Criterion sucks the big one for slapping together such a lackluster (and ridiculously over-priced - and no, not all of their DVD's are ridiculously over-priced) DVD package for the film. The audio commentary with the director and co-writer (hack Noah Baumbach) is actually one of the most annoying audio commentaries I have ever had the displeasure to listen to. It's recorded in a noisy restaurant (or something) with alot of back-ground noise and it features some curiously "bleeped-out" mentions of names like Jacques Cou@#$%*. WTF? I hate Disney. And so should you. Here's an interesting critique I read on co-writer Baumbach's film (as writer/director) Kicking and Screaming (95): "it's a film that has very little to say about having very little to say." Where do these self-important "little" film-makers come from? Is someone breeding them somewhere in a tank in Burbank? Where is their sincerity?
There isn't a single genuine thing about The Life Aquatic. Everything in it is too artificial. Anderson's style has become too much. There's no substance to the characters and the plot is so non-existent - it's like watching an hour and a half of abstract sketch comedy. This is what happens to a director when he's told how great he is too often. Who was checking Anderson? Who was saying, "Wes, this is too much - or Wes, this is not enough"? No one I suspect. Therein lies the central problem at the heart of Life Aquatic. It's neither too much, nor too little. It's non-existent. I felt nothing watching it (except for the four or five humorous moments I remembered from the trailer) and I feel even less thinking about it afterwards. I realize that not every film is supposed to move you. But isn't every film supposed to stay true to it's own internal-logic and not betray itself by being utterly pointless? Forget logic - isn't every film supposed to stay true to it's own heart? Where is the heart of Life Aquatic? Stop fooling yourselves people. You don't have to like something that's total shit just because your "supposed to" like it. Just like Lost in Translation - the most over-hyped and over-blown film I think I have ever seen. We were all "supposed to like" that one too. I wont get into that here (that's a whole other rant) but there's this thing about these self-important little pseudo-indie flicks, that aren't really "indie" because they really have millions of dollars behind them. Life Aquatic looks like a million bucks, but it feels like a buck fifty. And that's about what I paid to rent it (after a few credits for returning Blade Trinity early at Hollywood Video last week). In closing, I also realize that there are people just getting into the whole Wes Anderson thing - that weren't there when Rushmore first came out, or when Bottle Rocket was still a "new release" at the video store. My only advice to them is: watch films with your heart, and not your mind. Your mind can convince you that anything is good, but only your heart can tell you what's honest, and what's simply a waste of an hour and a half. I'm done with Wes Anderson - until he gets back to being "true" about his art. As far as Bill Murray goes, the last truly great Bill Murray performance I have seen (next to the phenominally under-rated and over-looked Rushmore) was probably Larger Than Life (96). Now there's a movie that your head will probably tell you is a piece of crap - but that your heart knows is a work of art. No B.S. And if you want to watch a really entertaining and actually life-affirming movie, rent (or buy) I heart Huckabees (available in a region 1 special edition that's modestly priced and worth every damn penny).
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou gets:
Two and a half out of Five Stars
The late, great Robert Shaw as "Quint" in Jaws (75)ps: There is one good thing about The Life Aquatic (other than the trailer): Jeff Goldblum. Go figure. Just don't get "conned" into thinking this is an "important" or even a "good" film. It's undeveloped, insincere and sophomoric at best. Actually, Jaws 3-D (83) is a better film. Now go watch Larger Than Life. You'll be happier that you did.
Thank-you and good night.
